Interviews

* original three question session from 1998 via record label owner (he passed on me, ain't that a bitch, what a pussy, fuck him) *

1. "How do you make the recordings?"

The recordings usually start with a concept and are, then, layered and visualized in the head to some clarity. I dump a rough draft of the piece onto notebook paper (with sound descriptions and word ideas...much like a music composer writing sheet music, I suppose). Then, I find myself in front of the equipment (Tascam 424, Ensoniq Mirage keyboard) and begin to materialize the vision (I either create a sound base, then, add violin, piano sounds and the like. Or I have a more musical base and add sound. Either way, I add the vocals last. Then, I pepper the piece with whatever sound extras that are needed). Occasionally, I will simply go over to the equipment and improvise something (taking and leaving bits and pieces as I go). But, for the most part I script the audio piece out on paper before I begin the recording process. Also, if needed I record and/or sample the sound I need to pepper the piece (I never sample others work - only sounds, such as a lawn mower, water, glass breaking, scraping of doors, etc). And I will use a tape player as a manipulator or the Mirage. I alter (internally or by way of effects-box) instruments from sound cards (diskettes, actually) that run on the Mirage. I, also, create sounds synthetically by way of a CZ-101 synthesizer. The materialization (recording) process is one of layering. Placing one layer of sound over another layer. Thus, the desired soundscape develops. Then, comes the vocals. I speak (act out) or digitally effect the vocal parts to appropriation of the piece. While I don't consider my audio work to be music, per se. I do add musical instruments and notes to the mix. I occasionally even have an actual melody of sorts float through the piece. But, it nearly always floats THROUGH and does not normally stay around long).

Actually, probably more than any other work Eraserhead (directed by David Lynch) has made an impact on me. In all realms, creatively. Seeing Eraserhead at a midnight movie theater about 11 years ago played a major part in turning me about-face in the direction of a more "pure" artistic existence.

To create art. Not to over-simplify it, but in essence (the truth) is, to create art. That's the goal. I hope that my work (be it audio, literature, film) will have a different interpretation with each and every listener, reader, viewer. I do not believe in dictating to the "audience" what it is that they should feel or "get" from my work. So, it could be said that a part of my goal within art is to free human beings up from their prisons of self (including rational thinking) and the prisons of others, etc. I try not to dictate to myself as well. So, I don't think about how my work will develop in the future. I hope to work til the day that I die, in the sense that I wish not to become "dried- up". But, I do know that I retired from societal games for good a decade ago. So, my work will surely continue in the direction of "pure" art (or art-for-art's-sake) which, as you know, does not have a very large audience. I believe in art that washes over the audience and possesses them entirely. The audience will not (can not) be the same afterward. They may not be able to fully comprehend their new found difference, but, it will always be there from that time on. I believe that my work is capable of doing just that. I can assure you that if you were listening to my work (or reading, for that matter) that you will find yourself engulfed in another state of existence (be it pleasant or unpleasant - most tend to lean towards my "worlds" as being "unpleasant", of course this all depends on the individual). Until the telephone rings or the sound of a baby crying in the distance or the clicking off of the cassette player brings you back to reality. I, myself, can not listen to my audio work while trying a car because of this. Things begin to seem a bit too surreal. Maybe I should print up stickers to place on the cassettes that read DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT WHILE DRIVING OR USING MACHINERY.

1. "What exactly is your musical background?"

I did take piano lessons for about a month when I was around maybe 9 or 10, learned how to play the movie song from "9-to-5" and some soap opera theme (maybe "Days of our Lives"). Also picked up on the very basics of how to read and sort of write the most simple of music...all of which was immediately forgotten just as soon as I quit piano lessons (this is how my brain tends to work, in general - if something no longer has a use for me "in the now"...I say "fuck it" and it's gone forever).

Beyond that, I sold what had become a pretty impressive baseball card collection for $250 in order to buy a used Ludwig silver sparkle starter drum kit off of some snobby rich kid who was younger than me via the Trader (in the olden days, there were newspapers that acted like eBay). I was maybe 14 at this time. So I learned how to drum by myself, listening to AC/DC and whatnot (the most simple of drumming - guess that would be "4/4"...no idea about ANYTHING as far as technical terms). Played with a neighborhood kid in my parents basement, he played guitar. Then when I was 15 I started fucking around with a cheapo CasioTone mini-keyboard thing (you know, the ones with the pre-set bossa nova rhythms and whatnot). By 16 I had completed the transition from being a metalhead (KISS, AC/DC, Cheap Trick, Ozzy, Iron Maiden, etc) to an alternative (The Cure, The Smiths/Morrissey, Cocteau Twins, Skinny Puppy, etc). Also I had gotten a second Casio keyboard, was still a cheapo (Sears sucker) type, though an improvement (did have one of the better acoustic piano sounds I’ve had in my possession via a keyboard to this day – likely says more about how shitty my keys have been than anything) at least it had 61 full-sized keys. Started recording songs (or songlike entities) live directly onto a crappy boombox that had an internal mic. Recorded an entire albums worth of shit, only a handful of locals heard this thing. Already by this time, however, people were starting to question my general mental well being based upon some of the things I was recording (the occasional abstract poetry/spoken word backed by atonal music).

I did still play the drums with some local punks here and there (most notably filling in with Bitchhead, two of the members went on to become the D.C. punk band The Problematics, just for rehearsals – dicking around to help them have a chance to play with a drummer – at the time I didn’t necessarily want to be a part of their band…never really questioned it one way or the other…not that I wouldn’t have or even would have either…though in retrospect, does sort of piss me off that I was never even asked…wish I would’ve been asked and would’ve taken part in that, now that I think about it…guess I wasn’t even good enough of a player for a punk band named Bitchhead…which is true, despite never considering myself a “punk” nor ever wishing to (personally feel that...genre/scene/what-have-you is a charade), I was still “punker than thou” still am in fact to most who call themselves “punk” - depending on the great many definitions one wishes to apply as being "punk") in the sense of "raw music".

Also I came into the “alt.scene” quite literally with Mike/Michael Northam/mnortham. In that, it was just us two going to the hipster/scenester hang-out spot (in Indy, Broad Ripple) together at the beginning of both our journeys. A decent amount of alternative firsts were shared between us (including seeing the influential film Eraserhead, we both cried - laughing so fucking hard during that dinner scene – I’m positive the film must be, given the dronescapes he now does, just as influential on his work as it was mine). Guess you could say it was an interesting and fairly talented pool from that time, certainly much so for Indianapolis (some others have crawled their way into being as well, no idea just how many nor to what extent). I tried writing him (Northam) years ago, to trade tapes in order to hear what he was up to, as I was completely shocked that he was even doing shit with audio/music, don’t recall him doing much back then at least, but…he didn’t really seem to want any part of it, fucker never did send me a tape even though I sent one to him first. Oh well, seemed like he was desperately trying to entirely erase the memory of Indy from his mind, don’t blame him…especially erasing me (ended up stealing two of his dates back “in da day”, didn’t mean to…just turned out that way), so…don’t blame him a bit (edit: Michael is a very fine human being, no disrespect was meant by these comments, thanks). Shit, ALL of us back then (when alternative REALLY WAS alternative, from the rest of society) caught TONS upon TONS of fucking steaming piles of horseshit. It was no different for me than it was Northam, Alec Budd, Jeff Hansell, Jason Beatty, etc. I just don’t believe in forgetting ANYTHING in my life…guess I’m perverted in that way, a masochistic nihilist side within, I keep all my (numerous) shitty assed memories under lock-and-key, to be called upon for various things in order to help push me further along in life, fuck it. Might as well use that shit for something, you know.

2. “What made you turn to art music (for lack of a better way of wording it) rather than simply stay in-and-around rock bands?“

Because I found that musicians, even the most raw (that I came across anyway), were far too structured…too stiff…too stuck claustrophobic in a music box. The whole “paint-by-numbers” bullshit, just never appealed to me, at all, not in the least. I come to anything and everything (be it music, writing, film, whatever) from an ARTISTE’s perspective, which is to say…I think in terms of ART when dealing with music. And, to me, ART is the one and only thing in (my) life that has NO boundaries…this is how I like it (even back as a teenager). So while others were fascinated by learning notes and chords, in networking and playing gigs, etc…I was singular in my visions of ART MUSIC (nevermind that I was entirely untrained in any way, shape or form and was simply flying freely by the fucking seat of my pants – again, wouldn't have it any other way). So, yea…I just couldn’t get these musician types to step out of their (self-imposed) boxes long enough to try and do shit that I was down for. Especially when you have no concrete way of communicating your vision to others (goes with the territory when you turn your back on such things – as notes, time signatures, chords, blah blah blah)…just impossible, was for me anyway. Besides, I was always far too introverted to be “convincing” – you know, that “charismatic/leader” bullshit you have to do to get others to fall in line and follow what you’re trying to accomplish. I just could never (still can’t) get myself to be that fucking arrogant. So…I knew I had to just do things by myself, for myself, in order to please myself.

3. “What small amount of information I was able to find on you, I saw that you seem to consider yourself an Outsider Musician. With that, Outsider music has become a type of cottage industry in a way, which seems a bit strange considering, why is this and how do you think you fit into the scheme of such a (or any) genre?”

A part of me is royally pissed off by the way that the concept of “outsider music” is being (or has been) manipulated to fit only a certain type of (what I’d call a) non-threatening form of “outsider” – ala the loopy goofy fun frivolous type. It’s not that I don’t dig some of that, or that they too should’ve have a place “in the sun” of the music spectrum, nor that I MOST CERTAINLY am not (often) loopy goofy fun and frivolous, but…I mean, damn! Just because something falls closer to “art music” doesn’t (or shouldn’t) mean that it isn’t every single fucking BIT as “outsider” as any “alone in the bedroom with a 4-track and an untuned instrument wailing like a retard”. Art music created like a retard in the bedroom on a 4-track counts too. I mean, I'm about as "outsider" as humanly possibly in the modern day world. Untrained, uneducated, non-scenester/non-hipster, eccentric reclusive freak who works as a late-night janitor...and so on. The only real difference is that (I think) I at least have SOME talent (very good ears, for instance), enough intelligence and creatively (not to mention that I'm relatively sane), as well as an interest in a "higher art" than most considered "outsider" (who normally are more akin to "folk artists" or "naive artists" than myself).

Also, the term “classical music” pisses me off. Because motherfuckers simply MUST wake-up and step-up to the plate on this shit. The new “classical music” is “ART MUSIC”! Fucking Mozart, Beethoven, Bach and Haydn are DEAD! Simple as that. The modern age is not only here, but…has BEEN here for the past 50 or even 60 years now, for FUCK’s sake! Time to step it THE FUCK up, people. Time to open your minds and wallets to the new “classical”, no longer is much of it composed on ink stained scrolls performed by live orchestras in theatres with balconies, etc etc etc. The new classical or art music is being created on computers, in home studios with electronic devices such as keyboards or being programmed in with MAX. The structures of these works aren’t so representational, what Mozart is to a painter who paints an apple just like an apple, John Cage and Jackson Pollock have liberated us! REJOICE! And be FREEEEE! FREEEEE I tell you!

4. “Ok, fair enough. Tell us how you and your wife’s work differs? Also, how is it similar?”

Well hell, from a technical standpoint, there’s NO comparison, her work pisses all over mine in those regards. As you know by now, I’m (if anything) ANTI-technical, so…you know. If you’re coming to my work with an academic type of checklist of “do’s and don’ts” and whatnot, I mean if that type of shit is your thing, then…you will surely find what I do as awkward and amateurish and just a plain mess, you’ll also very likely miss whatever point or goodness there is to be found in it…you’ll miss the beauty of it, if you’re sitting thinking that it’s shit because it’s technically “wrong”. Basically, if you’re not truly taking it purely for it’s aesthetics, if you’re not opening yourself up for a “ride”…this is where you’ll unfortunately probably lump my stuff in with all that lazy improv shit that the computer (techno induced/minimalist following - don't get me started on that...let's put it this way, Philip Glass SUCKS BALLS) sine wave college kids are doing these days and passing it off as "art" or with rockers who haven't taken the time to fully absorb classical influences (ala Pink Floyd "Umma Gumma" - there's many of these weak assed examples, nothing against Pink Floyd).

It’s similar for obvious reasons, that we spend virtually ALL of our time together, so…that also means we listen to almost always the same music at the same time, etc. So whatever’s coming into me or her, through osmosis, is likely going into the other. What’s interesting about this is how we surely must take in or absorb different shit from the exact same sources, though. THAT’s the interesting thing about us as Siamese peers. Along with the fact that she’s technically schooled or skilled and I’m entirely not. Well, and the fact that we’re married (sort of a modern Louis and Bebe Barron – “Forbidden Planet” score and early electronic trailblazers).